I'm a case for a psychologist

This time it might be a bit too emo for some of you, too much of my personal life will be involved, so if you do mind that, don't read further and simply jump to the CUT line at the bottom. I've chosen to write a few things down to clarify my own views, take a step backwards and look at what I'm feeling and thinking.

My parents have decided that I need to visit a psychologist in search of a professional help with my computer addiction.

At first I decisively refused, almost laughing with disregard. But after a few seconds I realized, that it will be the ideal opportunity for me to talk this over with an (hopefully) non-prejudiced person and finally make my parents believe me.
We've had discussions and arguments about PC usage ever since. They always thought that I spend too much time on it. For quite some time we even used a system of daily quota based on my marks in school. But even though I always had the best score possible (allowing me, by the way, 2 hours spent on PC (including internet usage, playing games, watching vids, chatting and all) for that particular day) it sort of blurred out after some time with me spending sometimes more sometimes less time on it and my parents always complaining and reproaching me for it.
In last few years we've abolished all mark schemes and everything with me doing whatever I want and them grumbling accordingly.
There's been an increase in my average time spent on computer during last year due to me taking to World of Warcraft. I dare say, that my average time played per day would be something around 3 hours; some days I don't play at all, some days I might play for six hours (not straight! with numerous pauses for excercise, school, food and all sorts of stuff). That and I use my computer for schoolwork - which I sometimes quite extensive.
This put together causes my parents to see me "chained to my laptop" for most of the day they actually get to see me (which is not much, considering I return from school at around 4 o'clock average).

So they decided to take me for professional help. I'm so looking forward to it, because I think that I will have a decent chat with the psychologist, convince him that I'm no addict, make him talk to my parents and then go home. Where do I take the assurance?

I will make several points to my defence, talking only about gaming. Spending too much time on computer in general is a different issue which results from a different way of life. Here go my claims:

• my gaming doesn't interfere with my academic endeavours

No, it doesn't. After being top of my class one can hardly hope for more. Actually I've been getting better and better in last few years.

• my gaming doesn't interfere with my family duties and obligations

I don't have many and those I have I fulfill. And I still ask for more so that my parents can complain. They still do. Oh well...

• my gaming doesn't interfere with my social life

I've never been a party person, I'm not one now and I never will be. I prefer a quiet cup of tea with my best friends or a date with my girlfriend (if there was one) to a big party. I never went to parties, I don't now. I don't even lose friends, I actually make more of them. I might never see them in person, but so what? I may.

• my gaming doesn't make me leave clubs and interest groups

The thing that makes me leave clubs and interest groups is lack of energy and time combined and a worsening quality of activities performed in the club. This is, of course, debatable, but I stand my ground. The gaming is a hobby and relaxation for me, refreshing me after hours spent in school. I don't give energy to the game, I take energy from it. This, again, will be disputed by my mother who sees computer as a leech sucking out my energy (literally, not kidding), but again I stand my ground.

• I do not suffer withdrawal syndrome and I can stop playing by my own will

I've even stop playing ALL games for one whole month. What more of a proof do they need?

• the gaming is not a mindless waste of time giving me nothing

I could count oh-so-many things this game gives me. Let's just mention social skills, multi-people cooperation, basics of marketing, orientation in a wide world with many possibilities, the "you-gotta-stick-to-something" attitude... I could go on for a long time.

• and finally: the gaming is not a substitute for a real life

It's an addition. No, not addiction, addition. Extension. Bonus. I do not seek serious relationship in a virtual world, I do like to help others in there though. That might actually be a way of substituting real life with the virtual one. It's very hard to make a difference in this vast and potentionally cruel world. But I can make a difference in the virtual one. Also everything goes somewhat faster in there, which suits me. I mean I AM studying for a university and all, but before I'll be of any use it'll take ages. But in the game I'm of some use now already.

Well, I think that's about it. I'm looking forward to the psychologist visit very much. I hope that we'll settle this thing at last.


--------------------------> CUT <---------------------------


One of my friends recommended me a poem by T.S.Elliot called The Waste Land. It's on Wikisource. I've only read a few lines but I already like it. Reading poems in english might be the way to go for me.

Also I've had an experience today which I hadn't for the whole previous life. I took an egg and threw it against a stone wall at full speed. I only wish I had more so that I could experiment with various throwing momenta - I can only tell you about the full speed variant. It was like an explosion of anti-infantry mine, with shards of the shell flying from the center of the impact in all directions (but in one plane only, the plane of the wall). A little bit of the shell stuck to the wPublish Postall in the center of the impact and stayed there. All in all, it was a nice feeling to throw it, but next time I'm going to do something like that I won't throw full speed, I'll only throw half speed or something, so that it can do the "splat" thing.

Take care, people.

Adam